Public Awareness
OPDV Bulletin:
Stalking FAQ
FAQs
The following are frequently-asked questions about stalking. The answers are based on a discussion with Bob Passonno, OPDV's Criminal Justice Training Coordinator.
1. What is stalking?
Plain and simple, it's unwanted pursuit. Stalking is a crime in New York State. Some of the more common behaviors that come to mind include:
- Following/watching/spying on victims
- Standing outside victims' homes or bothering them at their workplaces
- Taking or vandalizing victims' mail or property
- Harming/threatening to harm/killing pets, and of course,
- Unwanted contact or communications through telephone/mail/page/e-mail to victims or their families, or any third parties with whom the victims are acquainted, including neighbors and co-workers. Even seemingly harmless behaviors such as sending flowers or gifts can be stalking, depending on the context.
2. Is there a "typical" stalker?
Forensic psychologists and researchers have developed classification systems based on stalkers' behavior. In the field of domestic violence, our focus is on what's commonly referred to as "intimate partner" stalking. These stalkers are typically known as "the guys who just won't take 'no' for an answer." These stalkers do all sorts of things to maintain control over their victims, some of which are listed in the first question.
Other categories include "vengeful" (stalkers who are angry with their victims over some real or imagined slight and want to "get even" with them) and "delusional" (stalkers who believe that they are involved in a passionate love affair with the victim, even though they may have never met, e.g. "celebrity stalkers").
3. Are there warning signs to look out for?
There is no guaranteed way to identify potential stalkers, but there are some common personality traits. (However, the lack of these qualities is not a guarantee of safety - a stalker can be adept at concealing certain characteristics. Also, these traits might not be apparent until the person is threatened by a loss of control, such as a breakup of the relationship.) Here are some warning signs in intimate partner/domestic violence stalkers: Self-centered, extremely jealous, possessive, obsessive, needs to control, unwilling to consider someone else's viewpoint, refusal to cope with rejection, quick and frequent swings from "rage" to "love," manipulative, and constantly questioning or interrogating.
4. What's the difference between stalking and jealousy?
We need to differentiate between the type of jealousy that is usually considered normal in our society and EXTREME jealousy. Extreme jealousy overrides everything, and it may manifest itself as stalking. Jealousy is not love. Neither is stalking.
5. What is cyberstalking?
Basically, cyberstalking is the use of e-mail or the Internet to stalk another person. It is a crime.
6. What is the best way to deal with a stalker?
People who are being stalked (or think they might be), should try to become very aware of their surroundings. They should avoid all contact with the stalker and make no response to cards, letters, gifts, pleading, or phone calls. They should document everything - with the idea that they might be building a case against the stalker. They should let others know, especially trained law enforcement personnel. An Order of Protection should not be relied upon. It's a good idea to develop a personal safety plan. And people should always trust their instincts.
7. Is stalking a crime?
Yes. In New York State, there are specific elements that need to be present for a stalker to be in violation of the law. For example, for Stalking 4th Degree (the lowest level of stalking), the prosecution has to prove the defendant's intention is to engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific person for no legitimate purpose and knows, or reasonably should know, that such conduct is likely to cause the victim to reasonably fear some sort of injury or harm.
8. Is stalking dangerous?
Yes, extremely. The stalker is someone who is not willing to listen to anyone else and could choose to do anything to the victim. Stalking often occurs over an extended period of time and may result in serious physical and mental health consequences to the victim. Without a swift, strong, consistent criminal justice response, stalkers may feel justified in continuing and even escalating their behavior.
Thankfully, there are organizations and individuals that recognize the horrifying impact of stalking on victims and are assisting them accordingly. We all need to learn as much as we can about stalking so that we can help victims, including providing referrals to appropriate services, both inside and outside of the criminal justice system.
Online Resources (Note: OPDV is not responsible in whole or in part for the information, advice or quality of the websites listed below.)
Stalking Resource Center
http://www.NCVC.org/src/
A program of the National Center for Victims of Crime. Launched in July 2000, with initial funding from the Violence Against Women Office of the US Department of Justice, their mission is to raise national awareness of stalking and to encourage the development and implementation of multidisciplinary responses to stalking in local communities across the country.
The New York State Capital District Anti-Stalking Task Force
http://www.stalkmenot.org
Offers information, victim assistance, safety tips for victims, and training. Their mission statement: The Capital District Anti-Stalking Task Force is a multi-disciplinary, multi-jurisdictional group dedicated to the prevention of violence through early intervention and collaboration between law enforcement, prosecution, victim services and the community to enhance the safety of all citizens and enable the swift and effective prosecution of offenders.
The Stalking Victims Sanctuary
http://www.stalkingvictims.com/home.htm
Provides resources for stalking victims, including a downloadable brochure entitled, "If you're being stalked: 10 measures that could save your life."
Working to Halt Online Abuse (WHOA)
http://www.haltabuse.org/
A volunteer organization founded in 1997 to fight online harassment through education of the general public, education of law enforcement personnel, and empowerment of victims. WHOA has also formulated voluntary policies that online communities are encouraged to adopt to create safe and welcoming environments for all internet users.
"The difference between other crimes and domestic violence or stalking is that we can't predict who the victims of other crimes will be. We know who the future victims of domestic violence and stalking are - they're the current victims."
Bob Passonno, a retired police officer with more than 20 years of law enforcement experience, is responsible for providing domestic violence training and education programs for state and local criminal justice professionals. For technical assistance or to schedule training, contact Bob at (518) 457-6438 or bpassonno@opdv.state.ny.us
Special Note to Police Officers
The best thing you can do is forget about trying to figure out what will make your case. Ask the victim, "What has happened?" and just listen. Don't editorialize; don't filter it, regardless of how meaningless or crazy it might sound. (e.g., "My car was moved to a different parking spot," or "Things are just appearing in my house.") Remember, these incidents can be terrifying. Talking about them is not easy. Simply believing victims and encouraging them to tell all that has happened may help them feel safer talking to you. The more information you have, the better able you'll be to see the behavior in context and identify potential stalking.
It's not a good idea for police to merely warn the stalker - it can make the stalker feel more empowered. Police can develop "stalk the stalker" measures that can lead to immediate, appropriate arrests for violations, often without having to involve the victim involving the victim is what the stalker wants, anyway.
The following was written by a survivor; it illustrates how clever and tenacious a batterer can be:
"My ex-partner also 'lies in wait' -- meaning he times his moves as long as it takes...He knows just how far to go before [criminal justice intervention]."
