Public Awareness

OPDV Bulletin:
Why Do Battered Women Feel Trapped?

Simply, because they often are trapped. That doesn't necessarily mean that there's no way out. But there are many good reasons why it may be difficult to be safe or to end a relationship with a violent partner. The choices women confront are not risk-free.

Risks of Seeking help or deciding to leave

Physical violence and psychological harm

Risk that the threats and violence will get worse, resulting in harm to victim, children, friends, or family
Risk that batterer will follow through on suicide threats and harm himself
Risk of continued harassment, stalking, and verbal and emotional attacks, especially if batterer has ongoing contact (such as during court-ordered visitation)
Risk of serious physical harm and/or death

Children

Risk to children of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; possibility of increased risks to children if batterer has unsupervised or inappropriately supervised visitation
Risk of losing children by parental kidnapping or as the result of a legal custody decision
Risk of negative impact on children as a result of "breaking up the family"

Financial

Risk of reduced standard of living - possible loss of home, possessions, neighborhood
Risk of losing income or job - possible loss of partner's income, may have to quit a job to relocate or to fulfill the responsibilities of single parenthood, may be prevented from working because of threats and harassment

Relationship

Risk of losing partner, losing the relationship
Risk of losing help with children, transportation, household
For elderly women or women with disabilities, risk of losing caretaker

Responses from friends, family members, and helping professionals

Risk of not being believed or taken seriously, being blamed, being pressured to do something she's not ready or able to do
Risk of being judged as a bad wife, partner or mother
Risk of being pressured to maintain the relationship based on religious and/or cultural beliefs or because the children "need a father"
Risk that actions of "helpers" may increase danger

Under the best of circumstances, it is difficult to end a relationship with an intimate partner. Love, family, shared memories, and a sense of commitment are bonds that are hard to break. Cultural or religious beliefs may become impossible barriers to ending a marriage. Immigration status may be another obstacle. Battered women face the additional risks of physical, emotional and psychological harm. In addition, many battered women want the violence and abuse to stop, but they don't want the relationship to end. Many women feel responsible for the abuse.

Seeking help, getting an order of protection, or deciding to leave only makes sense to a woman when, on balance, it reduces the overall risks to her and her children.

There are risks attached to every decision a battered woman makes.

The above is an excerpt from OPDV's publication, "Finding Safety & Support." You can see the full text at our website: http://opdv.state.ny.us/about_dv/fss/contents.html