What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence and Specific Populations:

Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, and Bisexual Victims

Domestic violence happens to women and men in same sex relationships as well. Women abused by female partners or men abused by male partners may face additional barriers in getting help. Getting an order of protection or calling the police may mean "coming out" each time help is sought. Police, court personnel, and others who an abused lesbian or gay man may go to for help may not have had specific training in same-sex domestic violence.

No matter what your relationship, if your partner has used emotional, sexual, economic abuse, or physical violence to control you, you are being abused. Your partner may try to blame you or give reasons other than her/his own behavior for the abuse. In addition to using any or all of the things heterosexual abusers do, some things lesbian or gay abusers do may include:

• threatening to tell your family, co-workers, or government agencies about your sexual preference or orientation;
• making you feel bad about your sexual history;
• writing threatening notes or letters that might expose your sexual orientation;
• threatening to alienate you from the gay community; and
• "outing" you to your children.

A domestic violence advocate can tell you about support groups and other services in your community for battered lesbians or gay men.

Be aware that the law has changed so that you can now get an order of protection from Family Court if you are (or have been) in an intimate relationship with the abuser. See The Police and Courts section of Finding Safety & Support for more information on this and all of your legal options.

For more information and a statewide listing of services specifically for lesbian, gay, transgender, and bisexual victims of domestic violence, visit the NYC Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project: www.avp.org/dvnetwork/main.htm.